It is early in the morning, well, 09:27. But D first roused me at something like 06:00 a.m! I was devastated to be pulled like a miserable tortoise from a rather fascinating dream. It was literally torture trying to beg him not to roll over my back, or wiggle me with his feet. Eventually we went downstairs and I lay on the sofa and put a cartoon on for him. But then D announced that he wanted ice-cream. Though I had planned to make us semi-whole-meal pancakes for breakfast, this seemed a great idea, so very weak and weary I got him a bowl of ice cream and he was the happiest little boy ever.

Then i decided to have an espresso, beucase its just too cruel to try and rest, but be continually needed in some way. I am now about to tuck into another and feel a little more able to prance about as is the way on Saturday mornings with my little jumping bean D. He is right now sitting on the little side table eating an apple. Me too, at my desk. Crunch.

Anyway, yesterday, early evening, before Janey came round, while it was still light, but pushing to dusk, I looked at the washing machine still half wrapped up in its polywhatsitcalled and plastic.

Damn you, I thought, I can do this. So I made myself a fierce coffee and felt my IQ rise a notch or 20, and then, like a little barbarian, I just went for the washing machine with new found determination thinking, there are only so many wires and so many sockets, & I realised the only thing that holds me back (or anyone) is the misnomer that someone else knows how to do it, but never you.
When i had finished connecting bits, I lay on the floor and pushed the bastard into its nook with my feet. Then later Mark my neighbour who is a plumber by trade popped in as planned to check i had done it OK, or to see what i needed, he said it was put together fine.

He just needed to use some special plumber tape to keep the grey pipe plugged into the sink pipe and a few other finishing touches. But truly, i was the main plumber on that job.

He told me that the reason the machines are so heavy is cause they have concrete at the top and the bottom, plus, he told me you have to make sure the grey tube is higher than the sink so that the shitty water from washing up don't run into the washing machine - so now I feel that I could set up and install any washing machine any where in the land.

So anyway, Janey arrived, just as Mark was finishing, with a little bag with V&C in it, and he told us this chilling story, while sipping on a can of V&C we had just passed him (Urban myth he said, but could be true).

WELL...his friend, had a friend (o'course!) who went to stay in the village of Glastonbury with his mates, to take mushrooms together. They all went on a walk, and they got nutted, one of them getting too nutted, so they said to him, Go Back to the house. So he did. A little while later, he called them frantic, saying, 'you won't believe this but i found a fairy, a little fairy! come back!'

When they got back, the guy was cut and scratched and torn. But he was ecstatic with excitement, and said, look, look, and opened the cupboard to reveal a little midget woman he had abducted from the bus stop on his way back.

not just a plumber then eh? But friend of a friend of a very disturbed friend.

Bye